Not long ago a friend of mine who is a fabulous coach and bookkeeper took me and some friends on a guided meditation about money. During that process I had a mental picture of a little roll of cartoon-like money holding out its hand to me and I thought, “Money wants to be my friend.”
It certainly wasn’t something I consciously imagined, it just came up. And as I say it know it may (does) sound kind of goofy. But it was a vivid image: A little cartoon roll of bills, with hands and feet like the California Raisins or the M&Ms.
It was an odd thought: “Money wants to be my friend.” What the heck does that mean? It’s an idea that has popped up several times since, especially as I deal with the financial issues that go along with trying to support myself as a consultant and coach.
It came up again the other day when I read Amy Oscar’s post, “Starting Today I Stop Sucking at Money.” In it she describes her challenges in dealing with money and the beliefs about money that foster those challenges – and how she didn’t know how to change her beliefs and behavior. I was particularly moved by this passage:
“I have also discovered, behind each door that I opened, the same fear: I don’t know what to do. . .
Which of course, is the same story hidden in every one of your closets.
This wouldn’t have happened had I not stood up and tried. This wouldn’t have happened had I not turned to face my life – had I not taken a stand for my own happiness.
When I did, I received the most remarkable and priceless gift. Suddenly, I know what to do.
1) Meet what comes with curiosity and an open heart.
2) Choose toward love.”
Meet what comes with curiosity and an open heart. I love that.
So I left a comment supporting her and told her the story of my little bundle of money that wants to be friends with me. And as I was writing, I realized that if I want to be friends with money and have a better relationship with it, I have to act like a friend toward it. That’s on me. With all its implications.
What does that mean?
- I have to check in and say hi.
- I have to return its calls.
- I have to not say bad things about it behind its back.
- I have to see the best in it along with its foibles.
For years I have thought I handled money fairly responsibly; I’ve taken pride in paying my bills on time, I paid off my car, I don’t have any prejudices that only evil people have money or that money is the root of all evil. But this has changed everything. I have realized that I am not yet a very good friend to Money. But I’m trying.
And I am reminded as I’m writing this that in order to be a good friend to anyone else, I have to be a good friend to myself first.
So, as I Assess my relationship with Money, I wonder: Are you friends with money? How does that idea feel?
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